One cannot be submissive without obedience – one cannot be obedient without being submissive. They go hand-in-hand, don’t they? The world’s concept of submission is so warped and so unbiblical. A woman who submits to her husband is not being led around by a ring in her nose or stepped upon like a doormat! That is not the definition of submission at all! I can’t begin to tell you how many homes I know of where the woman “rules the roost” and the husband is a spineless jelly fish and a beaten down man.
Submission is much like a corporation. The President and Vice President lead the company. When the President’s away, the Vice President knows what is necessary to lead the company. When a decision has to be made in the President’s absence, the Vice President is able to make it and the President has full confidence in him. It’s the same in the home – it is allowing the head of the home to lead the home. Someone has to have a final decision when there’s disagreement. Yes, I give my husband my opinion and thoughts but when we’re at an impasse, his decision is final. Here’s an example: If we decide on a certain model of car to buy but we’re of opposite minds on the color, I would submit to his decision. Someone has to make the final decision. The world thinks this is archaic but yet they practice it every day in corporate America!
There is to be an order in the home as well. In the word of God, our children are commanded to obey us. We are commanded to obey God. We are also commanded to submit ourselves to God. Woman are commanded to submit themselves to their own husbands. It’s not a negative thing at all. When practiced according to God’s word, it is a beautiful thing to behold.
When we practice true biblical obedience and submission, the unsaved husband or disobedient husband (to the word of God) will see God’s goodness through our actions. If we, as wives, are not obedient and submissive to our husbands, how can we expect our children to be obedient to us or to their father? (I Peter 3:1-4) Our children will struggle with submission to God if they are not taught to submit to their father. If we’re not practicing what we preach to our children, are we not hypocrites?
But if ye will not obey the voice of the LORD, but rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then shall the hand of the LORD be against you, as it was against your fathers. (I Sam. 12:15)
When we know that God wants us to do something, yet we don’t do it, we are being disobedient. We are sinning.
Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. (Jam 4:17)
Therefore, if God tells us to submit to our own husbands, and we don’t submit in one little area, are we not sinning?
And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. (I Sam. 15:22)
We can play the game of sacrifice all we want, but if we disobey in one area, we are not a delight to the Lord. Let’s say my husband asks me to do something I don’t want to do (which is not sin, of course). Instead I make up for it by going the extra mile in doing other things for him – that is the game of sacrifice rather than obedience. I may have all the warm fuzzy feelings in the world because I did all those extra things for him, but I still did not do what he asked me to do initially. Would I accept this kind of behavior from my children? If I asked my child to make his bed but instead he did the dishes. Would that be O.K. with me? Of course not.
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (Col. 3:20)
Don’t expect your children to obey you if you don’t obey/submit to your husband. Your unsubmissive spirit will be evident to them and you will reap with disobedient children. When your children are disobedient, look inward – examine yourself first. Are you a submissive wife? If you are, then deal with your children accordingly. If you’re not, then deal with yourself accordingly.
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Gal. 6:7)
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (I Pet. 3:1)
Why would Peter say this? The “conversation” of a meek and submissive wife speaks volumes to her unsaved or disobedient husband. He sees the word of God in action by her submission! Everyone has to submit to someone – Christ submitted to His Father – husbands have to submit to Christ, etc.
Godly submission, obedience and reverence are our goals in life as Christian ladies. We are to practice, practice, practice! When we go against our husband’s wishes, can we honestly admit that our heart and our home are at peace? Honestly? If you are experiencing strife in your home, look to your heart first and see if you are being the submissive wife God has commanded you to be. Only then will you know for sure.
Submission should not be a hardship – in fact, quite the opposite! Godly submission is a desire to esteem the other (your husband) better than yourself. If you are submitting to your husband as unto the Lord, God will give you grace when you need it and will provide for your every need. He does not forsake us!!!