Oh the bliss of getting married! The plans alone can make a person go crazy but the end results are glorious memories! Wedding plans are important but are you preparing yourself spiritually as well? I cannot speak for the husband’s role but I can write about the wife’s role. I would like to devote the next few blogs on this very topic. What does the bride-to-be have to prepare for? What should she be thinking about? What does the Word have to say about her upcoming role as a Godly helpmeet to this man? Does today’s bridge-to-be have any idea what she is getting into? I know I didn’t. My mother gave me highlights but she never prepared me for the day-to-day care and responsibilities.
I believe the most important verse in Scriptures that a couple should live by is: Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. (Phi 2:3) When a couple esteems the other better than themselves, they will never go wrong. There is no room for selfishness in this verse. There is no room for going to bed angry. There is no room for retaliation. Esteeming the other better than ourselves is not a trait that automatically comes with marriage. We are all sinners and our own welfare is our main priority. Esteeming the other is a learned skill. It takes practice. Each time you work on this, it becomes easier to do.
… but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (1 Cor 7:34b) The wife who seeks to please her husband is a wife who is esteeming him better than herself. Dear unmarried sister in Christ, if you are reading this and thinking that this is ridiculous, I ask that you pray and ask the Lord to speak to your heart through this devotional today. Marriage is not a 50-50% contribution – it is a 100-100% contribution by the husband and wife. But what will happen if the husband is lazy? What will happen if he does not work at the marriage as diligently as you do? I can tell you that you will become resentful and bitter. 1 Cor. 7:34b does not state that you are only to please your husband when he is doing everything right. When a wife takes her eyes off what her husband should be doing and focuses them on what she should be doing, she will succeed in esteeming him better than herself.
Being the kind of helpmeet that God’s Word says you should be is not an easy task. It requires daily spiritual dedication and spiritual discipline. Like any job, being a good Godly wife takes hard work. Practice-practice-practice! I know you must be thinking at this point that I’m over exaggerating. But I’m really not. In fact, I cannot stress it enough. Marriage is not easy, my friend. It takes work – dedicated and diligent work. Your marriage can be a bed of roses if you work at it. Can it be that bed of roses only if the wife works at it? Yes! Why do I say this? Because Eve was created for Adam, not vice versa. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Gen 2:18) My definition of an help meet is a woman who helps her husband to successfully meet the goals in his life. She is his cheerleader when he needs motivation. She is his bookkeeper when he hates to do the checkbook and bills. She is the mother of his children. She maintains his home and everything revolving around it. She is his vice president when decisions need to be made in his absence. She is his devoted best friend when all others have forsaken him. She carries his burdens along with him to ease the load. She is his comforter when the cares of this world overwhelm him. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Pro 31:12)
I’m leaving you with some things to think about. As you reflect on what your new role as a wife will involve, I ask that you keep in mind that these are not optional. The wife’s duties are not performed only when she feels like it or when she is motivated enough. They are the criteria for a good and successful marriage. Your marriage will be as good as the efforts you put into it. We will continue to cover a more points about preparing for that husband in the next days to follow. My prayer is that you will take to heart the things which I’ve written here today.
My salvation came after six years of marriage and that marriage was heading toward divorce. Through the Word and being obedient to God’s directions, I learned how to be my husband’s help meet. Am I perfect? Far from it! But I am certainly a lot further along in that area than I was and God has healed my marriage. It took a lot of growing on my part and a lot of hard work. I have prayed for a long time that the Lord would use my experiences to help women who are preparing to be married or are already married and hurting. I pray that these blogs will bless someone today.
I pray for each bride to be
Prepare her willing heart
Reveal to each Your Word today
Impart wisdom from the start